I found a blog post with this title via Carmon’s blog, Buried Treasure. (Carmon’s doing a series this week on what it means to be pro-life, well worth your time.) The Blessing of Children is the story of Valerie, the mother of ten children, who sounds like someone who has gained a lot more wisdom than I have–and she’s gained it the hard way, through suffering. Hear what she says about having a large family:
I sometimes hear Christians say that they cannot have children soon or in close succession or in large numbers because it would be hard. And then I wonder where we, the Church, ever came to the conclusion that God has determined rest for us in all ages!
For the Christian life, God uses the metaphors of a soldier, a slave, and an athlete. Is it from these metaphors that we obtained the no-sweat, no-trouble, no-pressure model for Christian living and ethical decision-making? Wherever did we get the idea that discomfort is a sign that we should retreat to the safety of the trenches and not proceed in hope and faith?
Yesterday, Donna at A Quiet Life challenged us all to post a picture of our desk where we blog. As you can see from the state of my desk, it takes me a while to dig out the camera from under the piles. I looked at the pictures on other people’s blogs, and either I win Messiest Desk In Its Native State, or they cleaned up.
And today she asks for five things I would like to do someday. OK, but don’t tell me about how unrealistic I am, and I won’t tell you either. Let’s dream.
1. Go to Europe for the summer. Visit London, Cambridge, Oxford, Scotland, Paris, Rome, and wherever else I could fit in. Live with an English family.
2. Write a novel or a really good poem.
3. Work on the political campaign of someone I really believed in and see that person win the election.
4. Go on a mission trip to Russia.
5. Have my grandchildren spend the night with me on Friday nights. ( I don’t have any grandchildren, but I used to spend the night with my Mema every Friday night. We watched The Jack Benny Show and ate pink beans (pork and beans) and hamburger patties. Every Friday.)
As far as I can determine the SSA has replacement Social Security cards in a “lockbox” since 9/11. I lost my 17 year old son’s SS card. He needs a replacement because he wants to get a driver’s license. Here in Texas, in order to get a driver’s license, he must show them a SS card. Unfortunately, in order to get a replacement SS card, he has to have a driver’s license or some other form of identification. From the SSA website, here is alist of some of the documents that they might acccept as identification:
* Driver’s license
* Marriage or divorce record
* Military records
* Adoption record
* Life insurance policy
* Passport
* Health Insurance card (not a Medicare card)
* School ID card
Computer Guru Son isn’t married (or divorced), isn’t in the military, isn’t adopted, has no life insurance nor passport, and has no school ID card since he’s homeschooled. He does have a health insurance card, but it doesn’t have his full name on it because his name is too long for the health insurance company’s computer paradigm. And Blue Cross won’t make him a special card with his full name on it (we asked). Social Security says his birth certificate isn’t useful for the purposes of identification. Neither is anything else we have. We’ve been to the SS office three times, and I spent an hour on the phone yesterday arguing with two different SSA people. They both finally told me that Computer Guru Son doesn’t exist for the purposes of the SSA and therefore he won’t be able to get a SS card. Bureaucracy wins again.
While we often do not take the Sabbath as a special day of rest and worship, I suggest that this fact might be symptomatic of our general busyness. As I have lately considered my own weekly routine, I notice that three things monopolize nearly all of my waking hours. Each of the three is an important, valuable endeavor, and two of them are even acts of giving to others. Surely I do well to do these things, right? There is no need to give up one of them, is there? In fact, would I not be sinning by decreasing my involvement at my local church? Would it not be wrong of me to lay down my role in the children’s ministry, when the task is vital for the nurturing of the next generation and might not get done as well or at all without my efforts (just an example—my contribution is not so decisive as that in reality)? At first glance, it seems the answer is yes—it would be selfish and perhaps sinful not to serve in whatever capacity I can. After all, if I weren’t serving in the children’s ministry or the soup kitchen or the adult literacy program or some other important service to other people, what would I be doing? Napping? Reading a book in the park? Strolling along the river listening to the Fenway crowd cheer? Surely I should sacrifice those simple (but ultimately selfish) pleasures for the sake of service to others.
But the danger in our busyness, even in the (rare) case that all our activities are valuable and others-centered, is that we do not have time to fellowship with our Creator. We are so busy preaching the Gospel that we do not have the time to develop intimacy with the Author and Finisher of our faith. We do not have the time to ponder deep issues of the mind and heart. We do not have the time to sit still and listen to what the Spirit of God may want to say to us. I fear that in the end, then, even our service to others will suffer by doing too much of it.
I tend to take time to read and think because I don’t believe I can live and remain sane without it. Engineer Husband, on the other hand, craves time to read and reflect, but seldom takes it. He is driven, I think, by his mother’s oft-repeated instruction, “Do something useful!” I am going to try to encourage him to take Sunday afternoons (or maybe Saturday mornings), at least, to read and think and pray and rest. He needs it, but it will be a matter of discipline for him.
In Houston on Christmas Eve! We came out of the church at about 7:30 this evening, and there was a thin layer of snow on top of all the cars. We’ve been in Houston for nineteen years now, and most of my children have never seen snow. Only Eldest Daughter has been to Colorado and to Chicago and experienced snow. The rest have only seen pictures and movies. What a blessing!
Now we’re enjoying our traditional Christmas Eve dinner–chili cheese dip, chips, Christmas Eve salad, and punch. What an amazing Christmas Eve! It’s still snowing outside. At this rate, we’ll be making a snowman for Christmas day.
Eleven years ago today I was in the hospital. Our fifth child, Joanna Kirsten, was born and died two days before this date, and I spent Christmas 1993 in the hospital recovering from a very difficult and scary premature (eight months) birth.
Ten years ago today I was in the hospital again. Brown Bear Daughter was born, safely and easily; Engineer Husband called her our “Return to Flight Baby.” She’s been flying ever since. Of course, she didn’t replace little Joanna, but she did bring a new joy and beauty to our family. We call her Brown Bear Daughter because she was the happy recipient, we theorize, of the Native American genes that come from my mother’s side of the family, brown hair, brown eyes, brown skin. She’s our drama queen, our social butterfly, our curly hair pokey bear. Happy Birthday, Brown Bear.
See You in Heaven, Joanna Kirsten.
Eldest Daughter is fast becoming a (nonviolent) Luddite. She says I make fun of her, but I actually think she has some good ideas. However, she might want to keep in mind who the original Luddites were:
The original Luddites claimed to be led by one Ned Ludd, also known as “King Ludd” or “General Ludd”, who is believed to have destroyed two large stocking-frames that produced inexpensive stockings undercutting those produced by skilled knitters of the time. The movement spread rapidly throughout England in 1811 with many wool and cotton mills being destroyed, until the British government harshly suppressed them. The Luddites met at night on the moors surrounding the industrial towns, often practising drilling and manoeuvres. The main areas of the disturbances were Nottinghamshire in November 1811, followed by West Riding of Yorkshire in early 1812 and Lancashire in March 1812. Pitched battles between Luddites and the military occurred at Burtons’ Mill in Middleton, and at Westhoughton Mill, both in Lancashire. It was rumoured at the time that spies employed by the magistrates were involved in stirring up the attacks. Magistrates and food merchants were also objects of death threats and attacks by the anonymous General Ludd and his supporters. “Machine breaking” was made a capital crime, and seventeen men were executed in 1813. Many others were transported to Australia. From The Free Dictionary
Tolkien, Caedfael, and Lewis make much better role models. And Middle Earth is a place worth being homesick for.
Dancer Daughter, Organizer Daughter, and I: Ann Rinaldi She writes great historical fiction, and each book has this warning on the back cover: “WARNING: This is a historical novel. Read at your own risk. The writer feels it necessary to alert you to the fact that you might enjoy it.” So far, I’ve read two of her books, and I’m impressed. The girls have read more, and they’re hooked.
Brown Bear Daughter: Nancy Drew and Trixie Belden. I read both when I was her age, and I can’t say it ruined my taste in literature. I really liked Trixie better than Nancy.
Karate Kid: Hardy Boys. He saw BB Daughter reading Nancy Drew and wanted something like it for boys.
Bee and Z-Baby: Madeline by Ludwig Bemelmans. They checked out about three or four Madeline books from the library. We like Madeline. “She was not afraid of mice–she loved winter, snow, and ice. To the tiger in the zoo, Madeline just said, “Pooh-pooh.” She’s definitely a positive role model–brave, bold, and adventurous.
I don’t know what Eldest Daughter and Computer Guru Son are reading. Eldest Daughter just finished her finals, so maybe she’ll have time for some reading. And Computer Guru Son is supposed to have read Huckleberry Finn by January, so he’d probably better be reading that.
While searching for more information about Solzhenitsyn, I came across this article at Bruderhof Communities about dating and courtship. I was trying to say this very thing to one of my children a couple of days ago, but I didn’t say it well.
We teach our young people that Christ must be the center of every relationship. For this reason, any relationship leading toward marriage naturally comes under the spiritual guidance of parents and pastors. Without this it is extremely difficult for two people seeking to build such a relationship to keep their priorities straight. Emotional and physical desire, which have their rightful place, can too easily take the upper hand and skew one’s judgment.
A healthy, growing relationship cannot be rushed. It takes time to see whether it will blossom or not and what kind of fruit it will bear. Because parents know their children best, they especially can help two young people discern if they are really meant for each other. Therefore, before spending much time alone, a couple is urged to spend time with each other’s families. They are also encouraged to write to each other and in this way begin to share their hearts openly and honestly. Only when the couple—and those they have confided in—feel that God has drawn them together for marriage are they ready to become engaged.
Young people should form friendships and spend time together in groups and as families. Then “courtship” can best be done within communities of like-minded believers, and it takes time and seeking of wisdom from others who are praying for God’s will to be done. Community and family are meant, not to be restrictive, but rather to support and protect young people as they grow into marriage and families of their own. There is no exact pattern for courtship, but some general rules are:
1. Young people should not “pair off” until and unless parents and families are aware of the special friendship that is developing and approve.
2. Families should get to know each other as families before two young people spend significant time alone together.
3. Everyone concerned should take enough time to be sure the relationship is honoring to God and enriching to the couple involved.
4. The couple and their families should share similar values and ideas.
