Rosaria Butterfield, author of the spiritual autobiography and conversion story, Secret Thoughts of an Unlikely Convert, has also written this newer book, an exhortation and guide to Christian hospitality, subtitled Practicing Radically Ordinary Hospitality in Our Post-Christian World. Ms. Butterfield, who came to Christ as a lesbian professor of literature and eventually became a Presbyterian pastor’s wife and mother to several children, has a great deal to say and a number of stories to tell about what she calls “radical hospitality.”
She first ties the idea to of hospitality to respect and care for persons made in the image of God. “Radically ordinary hospitality–those who live it see strangers as neighbors and neighbors as family of God. They recoil at reducing a person to a category or a label.” Then, she goes on to to note the efficacy, indeed the necessity, of hospitality as a means of evangelism, in the best sense of the word. “Those who live out radically ordinary hospitality see their homes not a theirs at all but as God’s gift to use for the furtherance of his kingdom. They open doors; they seek out the underprivileged. They now that the gospel comes with a house key.”
Ms. Butterfield fills the remainder of her book, after the preface from which the above quotes are taken, with some exhortation but mostly with stories about what hospitality looks like in her own home and community. She also touches on current events and concerns: “Me-Too”, the dangers and boundaries of hospitality, loneliness, and the sad likelihood of being misunderstood. The stories are inspiring, but also daunting. I agree with her thesis, but I truly don’t know where to begin, even though the author tries to give some ideas about how to start practicing radical hospitality, or least simple hospitality, in her final chapter entitled “Conclusion: Feeding the Five Thousand.”
I’m fairly good at having a home that is open to all the many members of our large family and their friends and associates. we often, usually weekly or even more often, have a houseful. I have a private library in my home that is open to members of the public three days a week, and I try to practice “book hospitality” there. But welcoming my neighbors inside for meals and fellowship, opening my home to those who are very different from me, is not something I’ve ever practiced consistently.
This book reminds me of The Turquoise Table: Finding Community and Connection in Your Own Front Yard by Kristin Schell. These books show a way to the kind of hospitality and community I would like to foster in my own neighborhood, but I’m way too introverted and reserved to do it—so far. I think I need a turquoise table or one other concrete starting point to move toward the kind of radical hospitality that I am convinced is our calling as Christ-followers here in major suburbia and elsewhere.
I read Secret Thoughts of an Unlikely Convert, but have not yet read The Gospel Comes With a House Key. I think it is because I feel similarly to you, I know I will feel convicted and I don’t know where to start. I know it is our calling as Christ-followers to show hospitality to our actual neighbors. I guess I have realized that maybe it starts very small, like making myself go outside when the weather is nice and I see other neighbors out, inside of keeping my introverted self safe in the house. This is definitely something to think about.
Thanks for the review.
I loved Rosaria’s first book. I have not read this one, but I’ve been a little miffed from what I have heard about it.
I do believe our homes are God’s, not ours, and that most of us could improve in our hospitality. I do believe we should welcome not just friends and family.
But if I am understanding correctly (from what I have read elsewhere) that she advocates having people in almost every night–I don’t see that the Scripture teaches that. I think there are other ways to be hospitable, like your library. When we were taking care of my m-i-l, we rarely had people over because the logistics of her care were hard to work around and because we just didn’t have the energy after caring for her. But we had various hospice people and helpers in, and one of my regrets is that I was not more hospitable to them. I appreciated their help but also resented the intrusion into my time and home (especially when they didn’t call to let me know they were coming or wanted to prolong their visit by chitchatting about things like favorite soft drink flavors).
I understand that God reached out to Rosaria trough hospitality, and that spoke to me in her first book. It’s understandable that she would want to reach out to others in the same way. But I don’t think everyone has to practice hospitality just like she does.
I do think we need to work harder at knowing our immediate neighbors. I know all my surrounding neighbors. One of my neighbors is a known meth house with lots of police activity and he has stolen lots of stuff from us however I still watch out for them and their safety. We have been neighbors for years now and they go thru brief periods of clean time and I always hope the best for them. I have to limit my interaction for safety reasons but that doesn’t mean we don’t care for them. We want them to feel welcome and cared for and luckily the rest of our neighbors feel the same way. They are hurting humans.
This Christmas break, my 7 year old neighbor girl came over with her grandpa and she was talking to me and I could tell that she needed a break from her younger brothers. I invited her over for a couple hours one evening and we played cards and made homemade hot chocolate. She thoroughly enjoyed some time away from her brothers and we enjoyed spending time with her. I plan to have the boys over next.
I have to admit in the past I would not have done this because I am an introvert and don’t enjoy socializing but if you follow the calling of the Holy Spirit you will end up enjoying yourself. We can open our doors in the way the Holy Spirit guides us which will different for each one of us.