Well, folks, I thought we had learned. I thought people in the church no longer compared sinful people to broken, damaged roses—or dirty silverware. Yet, my seventeen year old daughter attended a youth retreat this past weekend with a friend from an evangelical church in our area. And the speaker talked about sex and sexual ethics. He (of course, it was a man, speaking to a mixed group of boys and girls, middle school and high school ages) told these precious, beloved young people that if they failed to meet God’s standard in the area of sexual behavior, they would be like dirty silverware. And no one wants to eat with used, dirty silverware! In fact, said the pastor, God can’t and won’t use dirty silverware.

Brothers and sisters, this ought not to be. This preacher was affirming the self-righteousness of those who had not failed in the area of sexual sin (maybe because of lack of opportunity?). Some of the young people cheered him on. What a dangerous thing it is to imply that if you have never expressed your sexuality outside of marriage you are clean before God, and He can thereafter use you to His glory. And he was condemning those who had sinned, in using others for their own sexual pleasure or allowing their bodies to be used for the sexual pleasure of another, to possibly a lifetime of feeling dirty and unwanted. What a dangerous message to preach to a room full of sexual people who are just beginning to learn how to express that sexuality in healthy, God-honoring ways!

Did this preacher mention that every single one of us, whether we have engaged in sexual acts outside of marriage or not, is dirty and sinful before God? In fact, the Bible makes a worse comparison than the dirty silverware analogy; Scripture says that our best works, the things we are most proud of, our good deeds and our righteousness, are all just like filthy, nasty rags in the light of God’s holiness (Isaiah 54:6). Isaiah wasn’t talking about sexual immorality, but rather about the idolatry that God’s people were practicing, that we all practice. In Ephesians 2:1-5, the Bible says that we are not just dirty; we are all dead and buried in sin. We all have sinned, and we all fall short of the glory of God. We try to convince ourselves that we are good people. We keep some rules, maybe the “sex rules” or the “no stealing” rule or the “don’t murder” rule, maybe even all three, and we tell ourselves that we are good people, really, well mostly. But we know deep down inside that we are guilty of being less than the image-bearer of God that we were created to be, that we are not the completely and truly obedient children of a loving and patient God. This doctrine of “total depravity” is not a popular message. But it’s true, and we all stand guilty before a holy God.

However, did this pastor even get to the good news? (I don’t think so, according to my daughter. I wasn’t there, so I can only say that if he did, she didn’t hear it.) We are made to be God’s people in Christ! Jesus cleanses and uses us. While we were still dead and lost and sin-filled and unclean, Jesus died for us! God doesn’t look at us and see dirty silverware or a damaged, irreparable rose, no matter what we have done or failed to do. No, He looks at us, and He sees Jesus. We are clothed in Christ. If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. God sees those who come to him in repentance and humility as new creations, the people we were meant to be all along. We are people, made in the image of God, given God’s grace through the cross of Jesus, and called to be the temple of the Holy Spirit living in us. That’s why we respect and care for our own bodies as well as the bodies of others. Jesus’s love for us, body and soul, is why we flee sexual immorality. “Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body.” (I Corinthians 6:18, NLT) God loves us just as we are, and He enables us to be clean and forgiven and useful, no matter what we have done to ourselves or to others.

We can use our bodies to serve the One who loves us so much that He died for us! We are alive in Christ, not dead anymore! If we are pure, it is because He purifies us, not because we keep some set of rules. So, love God with your heart and soul and mind and strength. Serve Christ joyfully with your body. And when you mess up, in any way, come to Him for forgiveness and renewal of life. You are not a dirty fork or a broken unwanted rose—you are a child of God.