My daddy died in 2009. He lost his leg a few years before that, to diabetes, and then he “lost” his home because he was no longer able to live there in a wheelchair and with only one leg. He and my mom moved into a senior living apartment complex near my home, and they started again. My dad was stubborn, and he made himself work hard and come back from the losses he had sustained with grit and determination.
When I was growing up in West Texas, my dad displayed the same obstinate spirit and tenacity that enabled him to start over in a new city with only one leg at the age of 70+. Here are a few of the things he taught me:
1. Work hard. I don’t think I’ve ever worked as hard as my daddy did most of the days of his life, but I know what’s right. I saw him do it for all the years I knew him.
2. Take care of your stuff. My daddy took care of the cars, changed the oil, got things fixed, bought new tires, watched for problems. He took care of our yard, or later when he was older, he hired someone and supervised them while they did it. If something broke, he fixed it, or hired someone to do it.
3. Know the right people. In my hometown of San Angelo, my daddy knew the best person for almost any job or purchase you wanted to make. He knew who to buy a car from. He knew where to take your car to get it fixed. He knew where to get your taxes done and which doctor was good for which ailment.If you needed something, from coffee to home repairs, my daddy knew the best place and the best person to ask.
4. Listen to country music and sing anyway. Daddy couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket, but when Charley Pride or Ray Price was singing on the radio, my daddy sang along, in his pick-up truck, with a smile.
5. Pay your bills. My daddy always, always paid his bills, on time, and he insisted that I and my sister do the same.
6. Shut the front door when you come in the house. He’d say, “I don’t have the money to air-condition the entire neighborhood.”
7. Respect whoever is in authority over you. This lesson was usually expressed in two ways: first, I was never allowed to sass my mama or my daddy. Second, my daddy never disparaged his boss or the other authorities in his life in front of me.
8. Balance your checkbook. This one kind of goes with #5, but when I got my first bank account, Daddy sat down and showed me exactly how to keep a record of the checks I wrote and keep a running balance in my check register. I think he’d be appalled at the way I now just check my balance online and don’t write down and subtract every single expenditure.
9. Credit cards are only good for people who don’t need them. Pay as you go. The only store account my mama and daddy ever had was at Myers Drugstore, where they figured they might need to buy medicine on credit in an emergency. They didn’t use credit cards. Period.
10. Let out the clutch slowly. Daddy taught me how to drive a standard transmission, stick-shift VW bug. I never liked driving, and I still don’t, but thanks to my daddy I can do it—in just about any car.
11. If you don’t like the meal Mama served, supper’s over. I was a picky eater, but my mom and dad didn’t cater to that pickiness. I skipped a few meals, but I came to the next one hungry.
12. Measure twice, cut once. I’m not sure he actually taught me this one because I tend to be impatient, but I get the concept.
13. Read the directions. When we got something new or tried something new, Daddy read the directions and then put it together or set it up. Then, he put the owners manual in a file in case he needed to refer to it later.
14. Take care of your parents. Daddy went over to his mother’s house almost every day as she got older, to check on her, get whatever she needed, just take care of her. When she had to move to a nursing home just before her death, he went to visit and took care of her until she went to be with the Lord.
15. Even grown-ups need the Lord. I asked Jesus to save me and was baptized when I was seven years old. My daddy was baptized in our Southern Baptist church the same week. We never talked much about spiritual things, but after he was baptized Daddy attended church with our family every Sunday. He served Jesus and depended on Him with a stubborn, determined faith that wouldn’t let go—even when the discouragements of old age and poor heath made him question what the Lord was doing in his life.
Thanks, Daddy. I hope it’s a happy Father’s Day in heaven, and I hope you know how much I love you and appreciate all the things you taught me.