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Natalists?

Dec7

David Brooks calls us “natalists,” people who are having three, four and even more children.

All across the industrialized world, birthrates are falling – in Western Europe, in Canada and in many regions of the United States. People are marrying later and having fewer kids. But spread around this country, and concentrated in certain areas, the natalists defy these trends.

They are having three, four or more kids. Their personal identity is defined by parenthood. They are more spiritually, emotionally and physically invested in their homes than in any other sphere of life, having concluded that parenthood is the most enriching and elevating thing they can do. Very often they have sacrificed pleasures like sophisticated movies, restaurant dining and foreign travel, let alone competitive careers and disposable income, for the sake of their parental calling

And he says, “People who have enough kids for a basketball team are too busy to fight a culture war.” Not quite. I believe I am fighting a culture war every day as I raise my children. I am doing my dead level best to teach them to be “spiritually, emotionally and physically invested in their homes” and to “sacrifice pleasures” for the greater good of the kingdom of God. I pray for them, nurture them, teach them, and love them every single day, and this is how I “fight a culture war.” Culture is made up of people, and a Godly, Christlike culture is made up of people who are committed to living out the life of Christ in all areas of culture. Together we “natalists” can change the culture–peacefully, non-violently–but it’s a struggle nevertheless.

A Paean to the Pecan

Nov6

'Pecans' photo (c) 2011, Thomas Quine - license: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/We went on our annual pecan purchasing journey today. We always take a Saturday in early November to go to Richmond, Texas to R. B. Bagley and Sons Pecan Warehouse. There we purchase an inordinate amount of fresh pecans in the shells, cracked, which we bring home and shell and put in the freezer to make all kinds of delightful goodies for Thanksgiving and Christmas and many other special days. My motto is: “Anything good is even better with pecans.” Fudge is better with pecans in it. Brownies are better with pecans. Most cookies are better with pecans. Some cakes are great with pecans added. Salads are even better with a few chopped pecans to give them some crunch. We put pecans on top of our sweet potato casserole, and I like to add a few pecan halves to the top of a pumpkin pie to improve the looks and the taste.
Did you know?
1. The word “pecan” comes from the Algonquian Indian word “pakan” meaning “a hard-shelled nut.”
2. Pecans are native to the Americas and were a major source of food for several Indian tribes during the autumn.
3. Shelled pecans should be stored in the freezer in an airtight container. They’ll keep for about a year.
4. George Washington and Thomas Jefferson both planted pecan trees in their gardens.
5. Pecans are nutritious, rich in calcium, phosphorus, iron, potassium, magnesium, thiamin, riboflavin, and niacin.
6. Pecans taste a lot better than walnuts. (IMHO)
7. The word “pecan” is pronounced “puCAHN,” not “PEEcan.” (Again, IMHO)
You can go to this website for more about the pecan.

The Strong-Willed Child

Oct26

The strong willed child was alive and well in Puritan New England:

Her mother, while Pearl was yet an infant, grew acquainted with a certain peculiar look, that warned her when it would be labor thrown away to insist, persuade, or plead. It was a look so intelligent, yet inexplicable, so perverse, sometimes so malicious, but generally accompanied by a wild flow of spirits, that Hester could not help questioning, at such moments, whether Pearl was a human child. She seemed rather an airy sprite, which, after playing its fantastic sports for a little while upon the cottage-floor, would flit away with a mocking smile. Whenever that look appeared in her wild, bright, deeply black eyes, it invested her with a strange remoteness and intangibility; it was as if she were hovering in the air and might vanish, like a glimmering light that comes we know not whence, and goes we know not whither. Beholding it, Hester was constrained to rush towards the child,–to pursue the little elf in the flight which she invariably began,–to snatch her to her bosom, with a close pressure and earnest kisses,–not so much from overflowing love, as to assure herself that Pearl was flesh and blood, and not utterly delusive. But Pearl’s laugh, when she was caught, though full of merriment and music, made her mother more doubtful than before. The Scarlet Letter, Chapter 6

I have seen this exact look in my child’s eyes. I daresay all parents have seen it. My mom used to call it a “look of mischief” or say I was acting like a “pill.” I really think all children have a stroke of mischief in them, a strong will that shows itself in different children in different ways. Even the most compliant children sometimes get that “certain peculiar look.”

Way Behind

Oct3

Engineer Husband suddenly decided that we needed to make a trip to Fort Worth yesterday to attend a very important event. We spent the night and came back today. Spontaneity with seven children at home is not my best thing, but I survived. However, now I’m w—a—y behind in all the things I need to do, including laundry, school planning, posting on my class websites, grading papers, planning meals, grocery shopping and sleep. Then, there are all the things I want to do: read blogs, read books, write on this blog, do some research, and sleep. Prioritizing is not one of my best things either. Ergo, I’m writing instead of doing all the other things on the list.

One More–On Moravian Marriages

Sep27

I enquir’d concerning the Moravian Marriages, whether the Report was true that were by Lot? I was told that Lots were us’d only in particular Cases. That generally when a young Man found himself dispos’d to marry, he inform’d the Elders of his Class, who consulted the Elder Ladies that govern’d the Young Women. As these Elders of the different Sexes were well acquainted with the Tempers & Dispositions of their respective Pupils, they could best judge what Matches were suitable and their Judgments were generally acquiesc’d in. But if for example it should happen that two or three young Women were found to be equally proper for the young Man, the Lot was then recurr’d to. I objected, If the Matches are not made by the mutual Choice of the Parties, some of them may chance to be very unhappy. And so they may, answer’d my Informer, if you let the Parties chuse for themselves .–Which indeed I could not deny.

I find the idea of courtship marriages in our society attractive but confusing. How does one work out the details? This Moravian approach would work well in a closed community in which everyone was in agreement about the process. However, I can’t see how to implement any kind of courtship model in our society where even Christians are not in agreement about how it should work. I do see many problems with the dating marriage model that I grew up taking for granted. I’ve read several books about idea of courtship and about the problems with serial romance (dating); however, I still don’t know how to work out the courtship ideal in practice. I don’t want to go as far as an arranged Moravian marriage partly because I don’t live in a Moravian-style community where many Elders would pool their wisdom to decide these things under the guidance of the Holy Spirit. Anybody got a good courtship story to share?

One More Timeless Observation from Ben Franklin

Sep27

This gave me occasion to observe, that when Men are employ’d they are best contented. For on the Days they work’d they were good-natured and cheerful; and with the consciousness of having done a good Days work they spent the Evenings jollily; but on the idle Days they were mutinous and quarrelsome, finding fault with their Pork, the Bread, &c. and in continual ill-humour; which put me in mind of a Sea-Captain, whose Rule it was to keep his Men constantly at Work; and his Mate once told him that they had done every thing, and there was nothing farther to employ them about; O, says he, make them scour the Anchor.

One of the problems with having children in Major Suburbia is that there is not enough “good Days work” to keep them all contented and in good humor. Young adults (ages 12-20) especially need good hard physical labor to keep them healthy and cheerful, but there’s not enough of it to go around. So we invented “exercise.” However, exercise doesn’t accomplish anything except self-improvement. I think Eldest Son, in particular, needs to build a log cabin or plant some corn and tend it. I could probably use the work myself.

Boredom

Sep20

One afternoon when I was seven I complained to him (my grandfather) of boredom, and he batted me hard on the head. He told me that I was never to use that term in his presence again, that if I was bored it was my fault and no one else’s. The obligation to amuse and instruct myself was entirely my own, and people who didn’t know that were childish people, to be avoided if possible. Certainly not to be trusted. That episode cured me of boredom forever –John Taylor Gatto

Wow! This is just what I am tempted to do when my children complain of being bored. On Saturday we had a”no-TV, no-computer” day, and my younger children, who have been watching too much TV lately, were almost beside themselves. They eventually settled into a rhythm of play and work, but it took a while. I must have more of these days and train my children “to amuse and instruct themselves.”
From the same excellent essay by Gatto (thanks to Daryl Cobranchi at Homeschool and Other Stuff):

Well-schooled kids have a low threshold for boredom; help your own to develop an inner life so that they’ll never be bored. Urge them to take on the serious material, the grown-up material, in history, literature, philosophy, music, art, economics, theology – all the stuff schoolteachers know well enough to avoid. Challenge your kids with plenty of solitude so that they can learn to enjoy their own company, to conduct inner dialogues. Well-schooled people are conditioned to dread being alone, and they seek constant companionship through the TV, the computer, the cell phone, and through shallow friendships quickly acquired and quickly abandoned. Your children should have a more meaningful life, and they can.

And again–from a liberal East coast perspective

Sep6

From an article at Tech Central Station by James Pinkerton:

. . . demography is destiny. To put it bluntly, in the name of “empowerment,” the Left has birth-controlled, aborted, and maybe also gay-libbed itself into a smaller role in American society. Yes, it was their personal-is-political choice, but others will benefit politically.

Nearly four decades after the sit-ins of the 60s, ex-radicals are more likely to be staging die-offs — their own. And oh yes, they forgot to have children. The future belongs to the fecund.

So what should pro-choice America do?
Answer: if you can’t breed ’em, you gotta persuade ’em. That is, if the conservatives are cranking out kids, then the liberals have to gotta grab a certain percentage of them and adjust their thinking.

Teach your children well–or the liberal boogie-men will get them. Recruitment is the only substitute for reproduction.

Family Lives With Autism

Aug27

I found a link to this story on Bob Smietana’s blog, God-of-small-things. It’s a two part story by Josh Grossberg about a family with three boys–all three of whom are autistic. The parents’ deep faith in God and dependence on Him is what comes through in the story.

Part 1
Part 2

“Most parents are angry and frustrated,” said 42-year-old Gina. “They think their kids were a mistake. But this is the way God planned them for our family. I really believe God is using our family — as crazy as it is with three kids with autism — to make a difference in the world.”

Wow! Even better than Olympic champions who profess Christ, these are champion parents who profess Christ in the middle of confusion, discouragement, and Life. May I remember this story on days when I get discouraged with my family or my children. None of our kids is a mistake.