The four oldest children and I went last night to see Finding Neverland, the (somewhat fictionalized) story of J.M. Barrie, the author of Peter Pan. At least some of us thought the movie was so romantic and sad and sweet. Party pooper that I am, I thought it was well-acted, thoughtful, and ultimately frustrating. I don’t like movies that romanticize adultery, and it’s adultery when you leave your spouse for someone else whether the outside relationship is physically consummated or not. In the movie, Barrie (played by Johnny Depp) leaves his wife alone day after day to pursue a platonic friendship with a widow and her four boys. One scene at the beginning implies that Barrie’s wife has already lost interest in him before this other friendship takes him away, but in another later scene the wife practically begs Barrie to at least come home to her in the evening, at least eat meals with her, if he can’t share his inner life with her. Barrie tries, but when the other woman needs him, he chooses her. The boys sense, I think, that Barrie is not really grown-up, can’t really be depended upon to keep his commitments. At one point, Peter, the boy whose name Barrie has borrowed for Peter Pan, corrects the adults at a party, pointing at Barrie and saying, “I’m not Peter Pan. He’s Peter Pan!”
At another place in the movie, Barrie tells Peter that he will never lie to him. But their entire relationship is a lie. Barrie isn’t a father to Peter and his brothers, and he is not free to husband (protect and defend) their mother. He is a married man who’s left his dying marriage to befriend a needy family and use them for inspiration. Just because the marriage is dying, it doesn’t justify desertion. In the end, as the mother of the four boys is dying, she makes Barrie co-guardian to her sons, an attempt to legitimize their relationship, but the conclusion is not satisfying. I picture Barrie getting tired of the boys as they grow up and he remains Peter Pan. Or maybe he can grow up, too, and take responsibility for this new parent-child relationship, whether it serves his needs or not.
Johnny Depp is a good actor, and the child who plays Peter does a fantastic job of portraying a troubled and grieving child. The movie concludes with the idea that the boys’ mother has “gone to Neverland,” and they can see her there anytime if they will “only believe.” Believe in what or in whom? Believe in Neverland, a place Barrie made up in order to deal with his own childhood demons? Believe in Barrie himself, when he can’t father the boys or keep their mother from dying? Or is Peter, the little boy, just supposed to believe in himself, find the resources within himself to survive the loss of both his parents? All these questions the movie leaves unanswered.