My church has decided to go to a small group format for the summer for the Sunday School/Bible study time on Sunday morning rather than age-graded Sunday School. The small groups would be made up of two or three families along with some single adults. Families, ages four or five to adult, would go together to one small group and spend about an hour in Bible study and prayer. The stated goal of this experiment in small group fellowship and study, as stated by one of the initiators of the idea, is:
. . . to build depth of relationship. It is very hard to come alongside each other in our walks, encouraging each other to grow and mature, until we know one another better and build trust. That kind of trust is what we hope to build over time through these groups. ‘Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.’ (1 Peter 4:8). As we have the opportunity to love each other more deeply, we will be better prepared to bear with one another’s weaknesses and struggles, praying for and encouraging one another. I know I have plenty of weaknesses and blind spots in my life—I need brothers and sisters in Christ who will love me in spite, actually in the midst, of them and pray for the Holy Spirit to do His sanctifying work in opening my eyes to them. I think we all have this need—as a church, we need to ensure we are meeting this need for everyone in the body.”
Even though I agree with these goals in principle, the whole concept makes me feel uncomfortable and uneasy and reluctant to attend anything other than the worship service on Sunday mornings. I’ve been trying to figure out why I’m so resistant, and I think I’ve come up with a couple of reasons, not necessarily good reasons, but reasons:
1. I’m an introvert. I don’t gain energy from relating to groups of people, even small groups of people, but instead I lose energy as I struggle to relate and to be both vulnerable to and accepting of others. As an introvert, I usually get and give encouragement either one-on-one or in a large group where I am not singled out and not trying to relate to an entire group of people. The latter is emotionally exhausting and difficult for me. Therefore, participating in a small group on Sunday mornings would not be a ministry TO me, but it would require me to give and to expend emotional energy, which might be a good thing even though it’s hard.
2. I’m concerned about the make-up of the groups and how that is going to be handled. I don’t know how families and others are going to be assigned to groups, but (being honest here) I do know that there are people in our church with whom I could easily build close, supportive relationships and others that I tolerate and love as best I can. I’m sure there are people in the church who feel both ways about me, too. Maybe I would learn to love and be more Christ-like if I were thrown together with some of those people that I only “love from a distance” right now, but maybe we would all be sorry that we tried such an experiment.
3. The wide age range that is an inherent part of this plan is problematic. Either we’re going to “dumb down” the study and the prayer time to cater to the youngest children in our group, or we’re going to communicate and relate on an adult level and send the children to the corner with a picture page and a package of crayons. I know family, age-integrated Bible study has been done in other groups, and I used to be a advocate of mixed age groups until I saw some attempts firsthand. Now I think you can mix adults and teens successfully, but children are just not mature enough to handle adult topics that need to be discussed and taught in adult Bible studies and prayer groups.
4. Leadership is going to be a problem, as it always is. If the Lord wants us to have these small groups, He will provide the leadership. However, it’s going to take more prayer and thoughtful consideration and planning than just asking for volunteers or putting out a sign-up sheet.
With all those caveats and questions, I’m prayerfully willing to try this plan and see how it goes. I would like to be positive and supportive of the leaders in our church who have conceived this experiment, and I plan to make myself attend in spite of my misgivings. So can anyone tell me, either from experience or from wisdom gained, how well such a plan would work and what things should we be concerned about as we begin this new approach to Bible study?
I guess my initial reaction would be a positive one: wow! a church that recognizes the family! But that may be characteristic of your church anyway and doesn’t seem amazing to you. Seems like most churches in my experience separate the family from the moment you walk in the door–kids to the left, adults to the right–never to see each other again until noon.
We too joined a church that is big on small groups. My husband and I were reluctant for all the reason you state also. After all…we were even known as the family first out of the parking lot! But I must say I really, really enjoy our small group. BUT, having said that, it is not in place of Sunday sermon, it is in place of Wednesday & Sunday night church instead. And, each group decides on what to do about the children – our group lets them play because of the wide age range (and there are only 3 families in our group) and let them see adults in a Bible study outside of church (but they get their regular church on Sundays and Wednesday evening children’s groups). I LOVE our small groups much to my complete surprise. Hope it all works out for you one way or the other! Also, its hard not to like someone you would not have been drawn too when you are praying for and with them on a weekly basis. That was a big surprise to me. Smiles!
It seems like the primary goal of these small groups is fellowship, not Bible study or worship. I think this kind of thing would be best as an optional weeknight thing instead of an encouraged Sunday morning event.
I think I would feel the same way if this were my church. I was homeschooled from Grade 2 through 12, and for part of it, my family got caught up in the whole-family-learn-together movement. Even our ISP taught all the kids that way, and while it does give the older kids opportunities to role model, the teaching was more shallow for all ages.
I love it when the whole body of Christ worships together, but I think the different parts of the body need to be served in different ways.
I’ve not experienced these small groups. My brother and sister-in-law belong to a small group such as this (called Life Groups) and they love it, but then she is very much an extrovert! I would probably have some of the same concerns that you do and would struggle with what I want to do and what is comfortable for me and what I think I should do. BTW, I’m an introvert too — not shy, I just lose energy from relating in group fashion.
I’m curious to see how this turns out for you. Hope you post a follow up if you do participate.
I think you should keep an open mind as to whether allowing a wide age range will inherently “dumb down” discussions. Kids are smarter than you think, and adults aren’t as bright as we like to pretend.